Luna's Crazy Theories!!

Alright, so a lot of people know that I have some pretty wicked and far out theories about the world and such. Since most of you don't know where they came from/how I came up with them, I decided that I would make a thread dedicated to educating the people who don't know most of my theories. You can also comment about them if you so wish, but no flaming because my theories are legit no matter WHAT YOU PEOPLE SAY!!!

My Theories* (in the order they should appear):

Annia Is A Vampire
Leaves Trees Are Evil
Robins Are Stalking Me
White People = Albino Blacks
People Who Run Are Freaks Of Nature
99.9% Of The People In The World Are Wrong When They Say That The Sky Is "Up"
If The Wind Blows Hard Enough, Even Acorns Are Leaves
People In Alaska Can't Drive
Gravity Ignores You When You're In Water
Homosexual/Heterosexual People Are Sexist



*These are subject to addition.

You also had a theory that if the wind blows hard enough acorns are leaves.

Many people have heard me say this (and it's true) that Annia (or Annime2 or Annie as many of you know her) is a vampire. You have to understand, I've known Annia for 9 years (IRL tyvm) and throughout those years have collected evidence to support my vampire theory.

During the summer, you never see her out in the daylight, but only at nighttime. Normally, I would even have to drag her outside. (I think that she hunts after I go to bed, but I haven't been able to prove that yet.)

She used to stay in the basement in a small room with no windows for sunlight. She would stay down there all day with only brief moments of leaving to go upstairs.

One time, she pinched me really hard -- so hard that it left a bruise -- and then told me that she hadn't actually pinched me hard at all. Her vampiric strength was showing instantly in that moment since I had that bruise for weeks on end.

She's very pale-skinned (because of the lack of sunlight she recieves). We all know that vampires are pale-skinned!!!

FINALLY: she denies that she's a vampire, which is what all SMART vampires do!! Therefore, by denying, she proves she's a vampire!

*subject to addition as time progresses

I AM NOT A VAMPIRE!


And I'm pale only because it's impossible for me to tan I dont even get sun burnt

This started back in 8th grade year. My friend, Nikki, had found a purple leaf at school, and it wound up getting ruined after she worked so hard to keep it pristine. So Annia and I were waiting for her on the bike trail (which is a trail surrounded by trees on each side) because she lived close to it, and we were going to hang out together. In the meantime, I was looking for a purple leaf to tease her with and then give to her. However, no matter HOW HARD I TRIED I could not find one. I finally screamed my frustrations at the trees and right at that moment the wind blew really hard and made a bunch of leaves fall. Since I knew they were trying to attack me, I screamed and ran around in circles while Annia nearly peed her pants laughing. After they stopped the assault, I looked again to still find that there wasn't a single purple leaf on the ground!!

So I took the advice given by a friend and sang an enthusiastic verse of "I'm a Little Teapot" and that was supposed to do away with my leaf problems!

Well, a year or two passes, and my dad was driving home and my puppy, Dusty, was looking out the window. Then, out of nowhere, a leaf comes out of the air and smacks my dog across the face!! He yiped and hid in the car soon after. Just another example why leaves were evil.

However, I finally recently found out that it wasn't the LEAVES that were evil, but the TREES! You see, I park under a tree and nearly every day I come out to find it covered in seeds!! And they take forever to get them all off. But I put two and two together and figured out that it was the trees that were after me.

To this day, I still live in fear of an attack!

Hmm and she does do mysterious things cause she mostly plays at night and stays up really late at night.

So Annia was walking over to my house so that I could drive her to school one day and she looked over to see a robin sitting in the middle of my yard. It stared and watched her walk up to my driveway. And then we backed out of the driveway only to see it watching us drive away. After that, I kept seeing them EVERYWHERE! They were always watching me, too! They would look, then see that I was looking back and move further away and land as if I would then no longer notice they were watching me!!! It's horrific!

They still watch me -- I think that the trees hired them, since the trees give them a place to stay...

i bet they know annie is a vampire and bats are well know to be their natural nemesis so they are watching her and you cause you associate with her

So totally NOT racist with this!

Alright, so I'll take it from two different points of view: creationism and evolution.

Creationism:

You believe that God created everything, that human life started with Adam and Eve. And it's said that the Garden of Eden was somewhere in Africa/Middle East area. This means that Adam and Eve would have to be black/dark skinned. So everyone started out being dark-skinned. So Jesus was born white because of a recessive albino mutation in his DNA (because in every picture I see Jesus is white) and he, being God's Son, began to turn the people closest to him white as well (since every picture I see of them they are white, too). And then the multiplying began =3


Evolutionism:

Our closest relatives are the chimps, who are black. So if we evolved from them, that means that we would have been black a long time ago. Then, suddenly, a recessive albino white gene popped out of nowhere. Two people who had it mated and had recessive children. Then, after a while, more mutated white children were given birth to and the white race was born. (They mulitplied like rabbits!!)


So, wha-lah! You're not white, you're albino black! So be a homie/shortie all you want, cause, deep down, you're black, too!

Well, this idea came up while I was at the Jr. High around here. Let me tell you this: that school is EVIL!! Evil I tell you! Every day, the P.E. class would be forced to go outside, run 1/2 a mile, and run back in like 4 minutes. So I decided that if, for some reason, humans couldn't run anymore then P.E. would be rendered useless, and I would never have to participate again.

So, when human kind first started, they could run really fast; however, over time and while human kind became more segregated by money, they stopped running. Because of that, though, they forgot how to run. That's why most of the girls in my P.E. class just do an exaggerated walk, it's because they can't fun, but they don't want to admit it. And why some others can run? They're freaks of nature who never really forgot how to run.

Wha-lah!! So if you're young enough to still be in P.E. at school, explain that your family can't physically run anymore!

Ever get tired of the following conversation:

"Hey, how are you?"
"Fine, you?"
"Great!"
... -insert long silence here- ...
"So... what's up?"
"... the sky."


You people have nothing wittier to say!! Tragic, I know, but I finally got so tired of people answering as such that I found a fault in their response. So, let's place logic into this statement:

Most people agree that the world is a sphere (those who don't are... well... just in denial). So if you step back and look at the world as a whole, you see that there are numerous angles that you can look at. North America is actually off towards the side of the world, so if you're in America and look in the "up" direction, the big picture is that you're actually looking off to the side. Same thing goes for South America, Antartica (which you're actually looking down instead of up on), Europe, and so on. Also, don't forget that it's common knowledge that the world is slanted! So, really, that makes it even HARDER to stand on the spot where you'd truly be looking up and (considering like 70% of the world is ocean) it'd probably be in the middle of some body of water.

So, remember, NEXT time someone says "the sky" is "what's up" THEY ARE WRONG!!!!

If you read my "Leaves Trees are Evil" theory, you would already know that every day I park under a tree. And you would also know that for a long time my car would be COVERED in those little helicopter seeds. I hate those things. Well, anyway, I was complaining about my car being COVERED in leaves (and I mean COVERED in them) and Annia decided to correct me. "Those aren't leaves, Luna, they're seeds!"

Well, I couldn't let a vampire win an argument against me... So I answered, "The wind blows them far enough away from the tree -- they come after me in the middle of the road... THEY ARE LEAVES!"

To which Annia answered, "So if the wind blows hard enough to throw an acorn into the road then an acorn is a leaf?"

And I replied, "Naturally."

So there you have it -- when the wind blows hard enough, anything that falls from a tree (including acorns) are leaves.

What about the people in Alaska not being able to drive?